my mom brought these chocolate awards home from somewhere
so i decided to throw myself an awards show
id like to thank the academy
and my mom and dad, you guys are my support
oh this is such an honor
special thanks out there to all my friends
this never would have been possible if it wasnt for all my great acting
omg thank you everyone out there, the cast and crew who worked on this
i cant express how happy i am
I can hear Leonardo DiCaprio crying
im like 25% funny and 85% bad at math
guYS IM FUCKING CRYING I RAN OUT OF PADS SO I WENT INTO MY MOMS ROOM AND I FOUND ONE BUT I WAS LIKE “OMG THIS IS HUGE MAYBE ITS JUST THE PACKAGING” AND THEN I OPENED IT AND ITS LIKE MORE THAN HALF THE LENGTH OF MY ARM AND ITS BIGGER THAN IT TOO OMG I CANT CLOSE MY LEGS. SEND HELP.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I WONT LEAK NOW RIGHT?
If you don’t think history is amusing, you clearly haven’t seen Adolf Hitler in shorts
Zis if from mein spring collection
A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”
It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!
I think this just changed my life.
describe yourself in one picture